kid sounds

when it's warm i can keep my classroom windows open and hear kids playing. usually this means hearing a lot of "hey guys. wait guys. c'mere guys." but it's cute nonetheless.

call me bill murray

one of my goals of living in chicago is to build relationships with people like my dry cleaner. except my dry cleaner is crazy. i go in once every couple of weeks. each time i drop of my clothes and barely warrant a blip on her radar. each time i pick up my clothes we have the EXACT SAME conversation.

muuggi: "schumacher. that is german. are you german?"

me: "not really." then i make up some lie about my great-grandfather or some ancestor and how he came here on a boat.

muuggi: "do you speak german?"

me: "no."

muuggi: "i speak german. i studied in _________ (insert name of town that sounds phlegmy and has an umlaut)."

me: "neat."

muuggi: "are you going to learn german?"

me: "no."

every goddamn time. without fail. every time we enter into this lingual pas de deux and everytime i know i am a mere fortnight from repeating it again.

predators

i didn't enjoy working on the myspace presentation i have to give to parents on thursday. i don't think it is an inherently evil thing yet moms and dads are wigging out. mostly said wigging comes from on-line predator shows like dateline. the real problem is the girls writing horrible things about each other or stealing each other's passwords to then write horrible things about each other. that may be my message: the predator we need to worry about is your adorable 12 year old daughter. i'm sure it'll go over well.

i was also a bit of a predator friday. the most absurdist drama began unfolding and i loved every minute of it. so did my colleagues. we all kind of turned into vultures picking at a corpse by the end of it. we wanted more and would've gone for blood if 3:10 hadn't rolled around.

yum!

one of my kid's moms has started sending me delicious sandwiches. i thought it was a one-off but today a sandwich, apple, and salad appeared. how awesome is that?

heard on the street...

"i thought it was ironic to wear cowboy boots to the appellate courts in new york state."